Back To Square One

Stagnation may feel familiar, but you never
really pass the same place twice.

My spiritual growth/process has always been a cyclic one.  Weeks of ravenous ingestion followed by periods of total starvation.  Or so it seems.  I’ve always called it “balance,” but in truth I look forward to the Time of Being Level, even.  A plateau.  Maybe an actual arrival.

I am currently in a dry spell. The sensation is as if I’d never started on a spiritual journey at all, though of course the scenery is different in this hard-won new stop along the road. I read and pray with wonder, but it all seems like a foreign language, almost a foreign country.  Am I absorbing anything?  We’re at a place of such depth and such beauty in the Course.  I want to understand all of it, breathe it in, be saturated by it.  And so that has been my prayer.  “Father, show me what it is I don’t know, what I don’t understand, what I need to let go of.  What is my next step?”

And with that, I leave you with a quote from a new Facebook friend who seems to me to provide as good a guidance as any:  “If most of the things I am bothered by in another person are actually hidden traits within myself, and if most of the things I worship in others are hidden aspects of myself…then there is nothing wrong with anyone. Everyone is just as they are. My only job is to pay attention to the parts of myself I’m ignoring. That’s healing.” Scott Kiloby.  Lesson 179. 

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About karmiceraser

A single-minded traveler on her way Home!
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2 Responses to Back To Square One

  1. easywriter says:

    Mr. Kiloby seems to have the pulse on what the goal is. Seeing every trait in others that one possesses themselves. Hard stuff to do, to look at someone who you think has no possibility of any of your traits/ spiritual assets! I think the icky part is the need to dig deep to see it. I know I would rather have a wooden splinter in my hand than have to see all of their stuff and fit it into my stuff!
    sigh

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