The Bridge of Khazad-dum

“You shall not pass!”

As I read today’s lesson, I realize why I seem to have plateaued.  (This is what, my fifth time through the Workbook!?)  Back in the days of sickness and darkness, of learning to forgive and let go, I would ask for Help perhaps a hundred times a day.  The journey felt like Gandalf on the bridge in Moria: the Balrog won every time.  Asking for Help seemed to be the only weapon I had.

Each day, as I read the first few sentences of the lesson, I feel a flame of bright excitement come to life within me.  Who is it that is so moved by the Words of God?  The Holy Spirit in me, the Self who wants to shed the false ego and Live only with God.  It’s Truth.  It’s the death of Gandalf the Gray so that Gandalf the White can Live. Yesterday’s lesson says, “Today the lights of Heaven bend to you, to shine upon your eyelids as you rest beyond the world of darkness.  Here is light your eyes can not behold.  And yet your mind can see it plainly, and can understand.”  And today’s holds the key I had forgotten:  “Begin your searching for the other world by asking for a strength beyond your own, and recognizing what it is you seek . . . God will be there.  For you have called upon the great unfailing power which will take this giant step with you in gratitude.”  Shedding the ego is not something I can do under my own puny power.  But it isn’t a sword fight.  It’s a stepping aside, a yielding to the Divine.

I feel that flame grow bright in me when I write.  In fact, I never write unless and until I feel my soul catch fire.  Not my words, but Thine.  If I can surrender these moments of my life, I can surrender them all.  There is a Help I might not have confessed so blatantly before, but let’s be clear:  To whom in me does the ego concede?  There is no God out there.  There is no Holy Spirit out there.  There is no “out there” out there!  There is only Self, by every one of those names–God, Spirit, Soul, I Am–Who lives to overcome the ego that I think I am.  I turn Within and ask for Help from what is Real and True.  The illusion falls away.  The Real World, Heaven, remains.

This I can do.  I remember how to plead for Help all day, until the pleading and the plea disappear.  “Accept a little part of hell as real, and you have damned your eyes and cursed your sight, and what you will behold is hell indeed.”  And I prefer to journey forward with eyes wide shut.  ACIM Text 12.VII.8-15, Lesson 130.

About karmiceraser

A single-minded traveler on her way Home!
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4 Responses to The Bridge of Khazad-dum

  1. Maya says:

    Good morning dear editor
    As we spoke about asking over and over until Spirit sees my devotion/intent/surrender, I thought about how many times I also was asking a few years ago, but then I didn’t know to whom I was asking. You know my story. Having read this part “shedding the ego is not a sword fight” is exactly what I’ve been doing. I’ve just been fighting with my own ego as God watches me and loves me even during what I think is chaos. Ego fighting ego. (This is why the Wingmakers poem, Compassion, speaks to me so much. “Angels must be confused by war.”) I have been fighting myself (little self) and paddling the boat going nowhere. In circles we have gone, lifetime after lifetime. That is not Spirit, which just watches me as if 2 children are drawing lines in the sand for proper ownership of child things. So, since that didn’t work over the years and now that I have an Ascended Master teacher, I know whatever state I am in, is exactly what I will get. By that I mean, if I’m thinking ‘common’, I will always see and perceive ‘common.’ Right now, I’m not happy where that state has arrived at. A friend reminded me it’s the state up Jacob’s ladder. What rung am I stuck at? And why? For who??
    Soooo, if I desire a new timeline, and I do, I shall do as you suggest. I have to ask as many times a day, to Spirit, what I want, see it in my mind as already done and even if I have to ask every minute of the day 24/7, this is going to be my new attitude. Yes, the flowers, nature’s smells, the swaying trees on a windy day, they all are beautiful to see, but I know there is so much more on the other side, so to speak. Reminds me of taped TV vs. live programming. Which one would cause my soul to really sing?

    This has been my observation today.

    • karmiceraser says:

      Funny, but this morning I was thinking about why all the Masters tell us to get out and commune with nature. The Soul is quickened there. It’s where we have the best chance of silencing the ego and hearing the Spirit. Speaking of, when I sit to meditate, there’s a multi-songed mockingbird serenading outside my window. So I dubbed him the Song of the Holy Spirit, that whenever I hear his voice, I’ll remember to go within, go within. Anything I can use to straighten my focus is fair game.

      Just do what I do: Whisper “Help me, help me, help me” to your Self until the ego gets bored or the men with the white coats show up. HUGS and Love

  2. Debra jean says:

    Well said! Heaven it is.

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